Broken Innocence
by Evanescences Angel
Summary: And Kyoko smiled to herself. If anything, she could do that. ::Collection of Oneshots, gen::
1. Smiles

Maybe I should have seen it coming.

It was right in front of my eyes the entire time; I just refused to see it.

The older Onii-san was working so hard to prevent me from seeing the world that he has now comes to terms with. But I see how it weights him down, how his eyes darken when he thinks, how he slumps over like he's holding all the burdens in the world and struggles to keep composer. I say nothing. Because when you truly think about, what can I do for him? I am one of his burdens. I'm the one who he chooses to protect no matter how hard it is on him.

Tsuna-kun is no different. I've forgotten how he used to be, after all; he has grown. There is a hidden strength in his eye now as they steadily try to look forward despite all the things weighting him down as well. He never complains to me, and only comes to me whenever someone else is having problem. I see how much he cares for us. Everybody was trying to hard so we can go back to the future but he is trying the hardest. Always tired, always bruised, always lagging but at the same time, always smiling.

I can only try to match that strength and return a smile in hopes he'll know how much it all means to us, to me.

There's almost nothing I can do for them other than support them. Just smile to let them know you're happy, just smile to relieve some of tense that fills the air, just smile to remind them that you are always there for them. I cannot cry anymore than I've already have. If I do, they'll suffer as well. Haru-chan knows this all too well and hides her tears by crying everyday down in the basement with the same excuse of "checking on the laundry, desu!"

I say nothing. Nodding and smiling as I watch her back leave and her, going to her daily 'routine'. I want to tell her that I understand. That I know her feelings because we are the same. I want to be able to hold her when she's crying and tell her it's alright. But it's not.

For I understood… _nothing_.

I'm different than Haru. I'm alone but I'm not alone. I have Onii-san… but he isn't _my_ Onii-san. I nearly lost Tsuna-kun because he protected me with his life. I didn't want to remember the aftermath of that fight in the warehouse but the memories haunt me like a broken record. Tsuna-kun's blood… that eerie flame that shone brighter than the sun and more beautiful than any star. Fire, flames, cries of battle and the exchange of blows … it was horrible. But the most horrible thing about it was—I could do nothing. Absolutely _nothing_.

Emotions choking me, unable to move, staring in shock and fear that slowing filled me.

In the end, I couldn't do anything but cry.

So I choose not to cry anymore while we were here. In this 'future'. Not even when I'm alone. I take everything as it is and as my heart slowly tightens with fear, I smile to hide my conflicting emotions and my internal screaming that nearly makes me go deaf. This is all I'm able to do for them. I'm a figurine with a permanent smile on her face, which claims to be their friend. I can't argue with that. I am nothing with my Onii-san by my side. So I cannot argue against him when he leaves with Tsuna-kun, Yamamoto, Gokudera-kun, and Lal-san. All I can do is wish them best of luck with this blatantly fake smile on my face to hide my fear.

If I looked back at myself, I only laugh at my own ignorance.

Waiting was the absolute worst thing.

Thoughts and doubts fill your mind to a point where you think you burst from all the emotions. Haru and I both left each other alone as we waited because there was nothing worse than to be filled with these thought and be on the verge of metal breakdown. You'd think it couldn't get any worse, right? But soon later Kusabsuke left with Chrome and Lambo. Haru and I nearly broke our careful façade and cried but we held the tears back as we argued against letting Lambo, a child, go to this battle. I didn't want Lambo to get hurt again, he just a baby. But he looked at me, with his childish green eyes and laugh, saying "The great Lambo-san will be alright!! I'm strong too! Yare! Don't cry, crybaby!"

Of course, I had to laugh but as I watched their retreating backs, my tears wouldn't stop. Haru broke down as soon as the door closed and cling to me for dear life, sobbing her heart out. I stood there my arms on her shoulders, frozen on the spot before allowing myself to move and bring Haru to her room to sleep. Her episode made her fall into a restless deep sleep her head falling to her lap as I stayed awake with unshed tears.

I broke my promise by crying. But I didn't care. I felt numb but I was no longer smiling anymore.

I couldn't smile.

The muscles in my face refused to move anymore. A few more tears leaked out but I cared not. The doubts and shadows of my mind nearly consumed me. What if they were injured? What if they didn't return? What if they were-?! I whimpered, choking down the sobs that threaten my undoing. I let my hands that were holding Haru go to place them on my head. No. Onii-chan, he can't-! He promised! Tsuna-kun did too! They have to come back!

No matter how hard I try to be like the others, I am not strong. I am scared to death. Everyone risking their lives. Onii-chan. Tsuna-kun. Lambo-kun. Everyone.

No matter what I tried to be, I am still just a little girl in the end.

Time passed and soon, after staring at the same spot for the last hour, a knock came at our door. It startled me and Haru stirred in her sleep but failed to wake. Swallowing thickly and blinking the tears out of my eyes, I wiped my face with the back of my hand before carefully moving Haru's body off of mines and walked to the door, sliding it open slowly.

I saw no one, but then instinctively looked down. Reborn. I tried to make a weak attempt of my fake smile, but couldn't so I just greeted him. "Hello, Reborn." I was surprised that he didn't go with Tsuna because he rarely left Tsuna's side but I believe he probably need to give Tsuna the chance to do things on his own.

Strangely, he wasn't smiling like usual but had a blank expression on his face. "Kyoko. It's time to go."

These words stuck me harder than anything. Something sour was at the back of my throat and something fell through my stomach, through the floor, falling, _falling_, never coming back. I blinked stupidly before regaining my composer, swallowing hard. "T-Time to go where exactly?"

"The mission," He said before smirking slightly, "was a success but I believe you want to greet them properly?"

My heart throbbed in a way that gave me such joy that I'd forgotten it. My smile returned full force nearly splitting my face how wide it was but at the same time tears threaten to spill. I held to them back as Reborn tilt his hat in a nod before turning away. "Tell Haru too, we'll be leaving soon."

"H-Hai!" I said louder than necessary, my smile widening even further if possible and ran back into the room to wake Haru from her drooling sleep, closing the door behind me.

If I had stayed just a bit longer, I would have seen Reborn stop unexpectedly and turned to where I was just standing with this unusual intense look. "Kyoko. Don't forget that smile. Dame-Tsuna needs that more than anything else."

* * *

What the hell am I doing? TELL ME. Because I have no idea. I've been wanting to write one-shots with Kyoko the center of it the longest... and now I'm doing this. Something must me wrong with me. Anyways, review please. I will be most likely continue this in ficlets and/or a collection oneshots. Updates will be irregular so don't expect something so soon~


	2. Secrets

There were a lot of things that Haru didn't say.

Which is strange since everyone who knew her would say she's an outspoken person.

Haru sees. Haru listens. Haru knows.

She just doesn't speak.

Kyoko is her best friend, not just for the reasons that they liked the same things or there personalities were fitting. No. Kyoko is Haru's best friend because of they felt the same way. There's a word for it; 'kinder-spirits'. They were the same. They mirrored each other, complimented each other like they were two halves of a whole. Kyoko; gentle, soft-spoken, but held a hidden strength under that sweetness, ready to defend with an icy conviction. However, Haru had something else, a little eccentric, weird, determined, and stubborn, Haru's had no inner strength to call her own. All she had was the pure conviction to protect when it came down to it.

The two are very different but at the same time—the same.

How?

Secrets.

Haru knew more than anyone would technically give her credit for. It was difficult to say the least. She knew secrets surrounded her love's life. Tsuna was the one who held her heart for a reason too. His life was complicated when she first met him, but she did not give it much thought. But as the more time she spend with him, the more complicated, more pressured, more dangerous the world became around him. It made Haru scared sometimes at the massive secret that he held to himself but would not let her burden. Sure, he rejects her on a daily basic, but she knew he cared about her to some extend as a friend. And for that she was grateful, but it didn't change the fact that the secrets still remained.

Only Kyoko knew how she felt. And for that the two were the most kinder-spirits to one another.

When the so-call fighting occurred, those so-called 'sumo fights', she knew she would no longer say anything.

The conflictions that Tsuna had in his eyes were shown. He could not back down to whatever was in front of him and it was tearing him apart. Haru hated that look in his eyes as if he held the whole world in his hands and it would crumble him he did not do everything in power to save it. For once in her life, Haru learned of silence.

Kyoko already knew this new rule of silence. She had been doing it longer than Haru has; for her brother had more things that worried her. It was a horrible feeling, knowing something but never saying a word.

Haru isn't as strong as she would like to say she is.

Kyoko's hidden strength is something that she'll never have.

The ability to accept everything as it is, and smiles to everyone as though nothing was wrong. It was a strength that Haru wanted more than anything. She always bragged and boast about one day being a mafia boss's wife but if she could not hold her composer, how was she ever going to support Tsuna? She needed to be strong for him!

So Haru's tears were always hidden.

When they arrived in the future there were things that scared her, tormented her. The deaths. Her parents. Everything was destroyed in a matter of seconds. The reality crashed on her hard. Haru remembers the tears was unable to hide and hated herself for it. She was putting more pressure on Tsuna, but she was too blind to see it. But the news broke her hard. Her entire life was gone. Everything she loved everything she cherished— gone. But then that little voice in her mind, spoke to her.

'_That's not true and you know it._' It would say, '_You still have Tsuna-san, and you still have Kyoko-chan by your side._'

But it was enough.

Haru wasn't as strong as Kyoko. Haru wasn't as proud as Bianchi. Haru wasn't as grim as Lal Mirch.

But…Haru was Haru.

And that was enough.

* * *

**READ!! A/N:** Urm. This going to be slightly long because I am now going to explain how this story will work. Instead of this becoming a complete Kyoko-centric fiction, I'm going to make this into a multiple chapter fiction on other characters about how 'innocence' was lost. But this isn't your typical collection of one-shot fiction, this, my friend, has an actual storyline to you. And yes, the storyline is mostly Kyoko-centric and of Tsuna along with the guardians, AND after the Byakuran arc.

But that's not all! Every character will get there own individual chapters which centric on themselves. For example, this was a (_SHORT_) Haru-Centric chapter. But this isn't the only one I'm going to do about Haru, there will be more chapters dedicated to her especially seeing how this chapter was had a slight cliffhanger. Her story will continue later! After some other characters and chapters in the story! Hopefully it won't be too complicated. Review for more, please~

By the way, the entire idea was inspired by Fuel's Innocent song. Listen to it, it'll make you cry.


	3. Bitter

He probably should have taken it more serious when Tsuna warned him.

Maybe he should have listen to Gokudera's yelling.

…Maybe he should've…

Yamamoto laughs. There was no reason to regret now that what's been done had been done. There was no turning back as soon as they went to face Byakuran and the Millefiore. There was no more 'games'. No more childishness. It was life or death. Any second now and he could die. Shot, slashed, or tortured. Yamamoto's laugh turns bitter. Maybe it did matter. You know, regretting it. He won't lie to himself or others in saying he doesn't regret playing this 'game'. He does. The future taught him of how much this 'game' affected his life.

He doesn't like to talk about it much but his old man was the only thing he had left.

His family matters were more complicated then he let on. Just like no one asked about Tsuna's father because they thought it was taboo, no one asked about Yamamoto's mother. He was sincerity thankful for that. He did not like to be reminded of the person that failed to protect. Sometimes he cries thinking about it. Only when he's alone and no one can see him. In his room, in the middle of the night—he is reminded of the times during there stay in the future. Up at night thinking about his father. How he died in this era because he couldn't protect him. Something broke in him badly. Not only did he fail his mother but his father too.

Gokudera never said a word about those restless nights as he lay on the lower bunk.

It was slowly dawning on him how the world works. It wasn't innocent or as lenient as he wanted it. He never wanted to take a life but it turns out he had natural instinct as a hitman. This makes Yamamoto's bitter laugh turn sharper. Was that what he was good for? Taking someone's life? His dream so far out of reach now. A baseball player compared to his ability to kill? He couldn't protect anyone it seems. Not now or in the future. Maybe this was his punishment for his ignorance? Karma was a bitch after all, he would know.

But was it truly.

Did he deserve it?

Yamamoto's sigh echoed throughout the room.

He can still remember it. How Tsuna told him everything. The heartbreaking sadness that filled his face when he said everything wasn't a game. Yamamoto believed him because of the genuine regret that he had in his eyes. The words still wander in his mind,

_"Y-Yamamoto… I-I'm sorry," Tsuna choked out, tears pooling in his eyes. Yamamoto heart thumped louder and louder with each one. He was speechless. All of this... wasn't a game anymore ... and he learned it the hard way. __"F-F-For everything. T-This was all my fault. I never wanted to d-drag you into this world, b-but I had no choice! I-I had to because e-everything and everyone that was close to me was put at risk! …And I can't do anything…"_

_His brown eyes continued to stare at the ground where blood began to sink all around. He did this. He killed. Killed. Killed. Killed. Murderer. MURDERER. _

_Why was there so much blood?_

_"DON'T LOOK! DON'T LOOK!" Tsuna's disembodied voice is like a beackon in the dark as Yamamoto looked at the world blindly. He barely noticed his boss shaking him, "DON'T!! IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT! IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT!!!"_

_All he could remember was how Gokudera's eyes stared at him--Pity, Hatred, Sympathy and Sadness--before he passed out._

Yamamoto shuddered at the coldest of the room, throwing his covers on him.

He could have laughed at himself, how pitiful he was being. Taking someone's life in order to protect your friend, your boss is an honor, yet here he was grieving over the lost. It was just a namless hitman who was trying to attack them but he reacted to quickly and sloppy to notice he used the wrong edge of the sword until it was too late.

Maybe tomorrow...after nightmares, after more tears he could grin again like he always does.

Because after all, smiles were all he could do.

* * *

I DID NOT WANNA MAKE YAMA-CHAN EMO, HE JUST CAME OUT THAT WAY!! Seriously, I didn't want to this is turn all uncharacteristically emo on each character but I'm trying to explore the parts where Amano fails to make note of (expect for Gokudera). I just winged it when I thought of how to protray Yamamoto's angst and I thought about how he would turn out after the game was now wasn't a game. Refering to his TYL!self, who was so awesomely angsty and serious I fell i love~~ I'm disturbed so beware. Once again, inspire by "Innocent" by Fuel but this time also, "Maybe Tomorrow" By Stereophonics.

Next up...! Drumroll please!! ...... Gokudera!! Then some Mukuro because heading to the storyline! Also when you read the summary "shounen-ai" did mean something! It means implied pairings, most likely 8059, 182795, 6918, 6927, 6996 and/or 2786. I threw in some Het. to throw you off, lol.

REVIEW. Please.


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